Feeling things all the way through: a beginning
Denver International Airport:
sitting on the fringey-frayed vinyl airport seat waiting to board Flight 2158 to Indianapolis, I feel like shit. I am a wiry undercurrent of indecipherable and occasionally nauseating impulses with no direction and, frankly, 33 flavors of anxiety even though I am traveling to my 40th country and have traveled about half of those solo.
As I pause with the feelings for a little bit, my heart galluping jugularily, my temples making themselves known, the breeze pointing out my steamy underarms. Chills and not dread but something that smells a lot like it.
Breathe. Be silent. Let these feelings talk. listen. I feel an internal smile crawl to the outside of my face. Rather than analyze or worry more about the fear ramping up, it dawns on me that I CREATE new quests in my life just to have this nauseous feeling. To be scared and stoked in equal measure.
The very day I walk into an airport and don’t feel the ecstatic throws of electric nausea as I step up to check-in, I will find another fun project where the juice is worth the squeeze*.
but right now I’m wondering what this fun disruption has ahead. I’m glad to have you check in here whenever the spirit moves you because that is when I’m going to be writing.
*Quote from our tribal lore